Hardly Half Done Right

Loose Ends

Wait a minute won’t you please
We haven’t finished settling scores
Before you walk outside that door
You better get back on your knees

Pay no mind to common complainers
It’s all a mess, the stress, the quest
Collecting all the outstanding debts
Don’t forget to carry the damn remainders

We’re all left to tie up all these
Loose ends (loose ends)
Seems like we’re always left
Just tying up these reckless loose ends

I made a promise when we started
Though it may seem like just a trifle
To eye the scope and point the rifle
Gather the shells and salute the departed

We’re all left to tie up all these
Loose ends (loose ends)
Seems like we’re always left just
Tying up these senseless loose ends

He left behind all of his notes in scattered papers
(can’t solve the caper)
We always leave the rest ’til later
Wrestling all the alligators
Getting cold on the dumb waiter
My OCD is just another in a long, long line of constant haters

A folded flag sits on the mantle
The funeral director pulled me aside
Before we take this one last ride
There’s one more expense the family must handle

We’re all left to tie up all these
Loose ends (loose ends)
Seems like we’re always left
Just tying up these endless loose ends

Tie them up all neat and tight
Loose ends (loose ends)
Lifetimes of hardly half done right
Loose ends (loose ends)
Let’s let tomorrow fight this fight
Loose ends (loose ends)
We’ll have more time (at least we might)
Loose ends (loose ends)

Following the Followers

We all suspect you are not one of us
We whisper, nod and wink (they know what I mean)
You’re acting strange, why don’t you come with us
Run with us, why must you always cause a scene?

But you played your hand, you couldn’t help yourself
Your choice of swagger has a cost
It all depends on what you tell yourself (don’t undersell yourself)
C’mon, man — comma. comma, comma your side is lost

Come follow all the followers
Who are following the followers
Who are all following the followers
Him and me, her and we
Every one of us agree
Come follow me and you will see

Come lie with all the sleeping dogs you old curmudgeon
Or be like all us salmon
Join our semelparity (come and see) and spread your seed
And swim upstream (or die trying)

We mate and die, it’s such is life, we’re all for one my friend
Who are you to judge us
Just one more dumb naysayer going against the grain
Who cannot ever seem to trust us

Come follow all the followers
Who are following the followers
Who are all following the followers
Him and me, her and we
Every one of us agree
Come follow me and you will see

Why must you go against the tide
The common good
It’s understood
Has stood the test of time

No man’s an island except when he’s lost at sea
Come find your way and gently sway
Up on the treetop or down will come baby
Cradle and all as mother would say

Come follow all the followers
Who are following the followers
Who are all following the followers
Him and me, her and we
Every one of us agree
Come follow me and you will see

Caught Redhanded

I blustered in one day all full of fire and haste
Headstrong and confident
Another young fool whose youth was left to waste
Stupid and diffident

Getting into trouble despite any good intention
Cocksure inexperience
Taking without asking, possessed of blind pretension
I was delirious

But that was then and this is now
I somehow thought I’d gotten past it
I even thought I’d won or lasted
But no, no, no, no
No, no, no — I’ve been caught

Redhanded!
No way out redhanded
Without a doubt redhanded
Redhanded woe is me
Redhanded nowhere to flee
(I’VE BEEN CAUGHT) redhanded

Now I can’t get past the guard, I’m marked and branded
Can’t find a substitute
It’s all a blur how I ended up a thief that time demanded
Time’s grim absolutes

No matter then ‘cos this is now
I somehow thought I’d gotten past it
I even thought I’d won or lasted
But no, no, no, no
No, no, no — I’ve been caught

Redhanded!
No way out redhanded
Without a doubt redhanded
Redhanded woe is me
Redhanded nowhere to flee
(I’VE BEEN CAUGHT) redhanded

All along this song was playing
All us donkeys kicks and braying
And that’s all I’m really saying
When I’m saying
All I have the strength to say…

Now I scuffle with the old men lost and muddled in their dreams
What a life it’s now become
You take your time when you are coming and going in between
Nowhere to go to unbegun

So what happens then is this is now
I somehow thought I’d gotten past it
I even thought I’d won or lasted
But no, no, no, no
No, no, no — I’ve been caught

Redhanded!
No way out redhanded
Without a doubt redhanded
Redhanded woe is me
Redhanded nowhere to flee
(I’VE BEEN CAUGHT) redhanded

It’s All Gonna Backfire

The best laid plans of boys and men
Can’t always plan for what comes down next
Life’s a brittle mess of cobwebbed schemes
Patchwork days in diaries

The smartest people in the room
Frolicking up there on the moon
We watched it all in black and white
But now we doubt what’s wrong is right

That’s what it all comes down to bro
It’s not what you do, but who you know
But even then you can’t control

When it’s all gonna backfire
It’s all gonna backfire
On me and you
Our children too
It’s all gonna backfire

Well I got you and and you got me
Let’s agree to disagree
On how to face this circumstance
On who will lead this awkward dance

That’s what it all comes down to bro
It’s not what you do, but who you know
But even then you can’t control

When it’s all gonna backfire
It’s all gonna backfire
On me and you
Our children too
It’s all gonna backfire

Red-handed fools avoiding gazes
Furtive eyes won’t show their faces
Or face the fact it’s all a a lie
Even the aliens don’t know why

The best laid plans of boys and men
Can’t always plan for what comes down next
Watch your step, avoid that crack
Or you will break your poor, poor mother’s back

That’s what it all comes down to bro
It’s not what you do, but who you know
But even then you can’t control

When it’s all gonna backfire
It’s all gonna backfire
On me and you
Our children too
It’s all gonna backfire

It’s all gonna backfire (no matter what we do or say)
It’s all gonna backfire …

As An Aside

If I was one to say these things
I might say something brash
Something raw, without asking
For a pass
I might walk right into the trap you’re laying
And go all in the game you’re playing
If I was one to say
What one might want to say

If I was one to say these things
I might say something crude
Something wrongheadedly untrue
Like one more rube
I might talk until I’m blue
In all my faces like I do
If I was one to say
What one might want to say

And end up as the guy you someday mention
Some poor soul you loosen tension with
Merely yearly and insincerely
As an aside
As if all I am and all we have become
Is just undone
As an aside

But I’m not one to say these things
I’ll hold it in and take the beating
I’ll say nothing and watch time fleeting
And watch you leaving
I might talk like I am different but it’s not true
I don’t want the confrontation with the fool
The fool I am will always say
What one might want to say

And end up as the guy you someday mention
Some poor soul you loosen tension with
Merely yearly and insincerely
As an aside
As if all I am and all we have become
Is just undone
As an aside

A younger me might look away
And pocket these emotions
Mix them in with keys and potions
Like little boys hold onto
And old men sometimes do too

So are you one to take these things
And use them all against me
Use them when I’m most expecting
To see the truth somewhere deep within me

And end up as the guy you someday mention
Some poor soul you loosen tension with
Merely yearly and insincerely
As an aside
As if all I am and all we have become
Is just undone
As an aside

Examination Room

Pins and needles
Needless to say I’m squeamish of ’em
I just might faint from the s-s-sight (that’s not a problem)
I just might
Your bedside manner leaves something to be desired
My mind’s on fire

So don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room
Don’t you dare keep me waiting now
No, no matter what you do (oh, wow)
Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

 (That’s an odd, odd growth), what did you just mumble?
As my insides dive and take a tumble (what seems to be the trouble?)
Give it to me s-s-straight doc
Don’t make me wait on fumbled
Prognosuhseez-ee-ee-ee-eeez
Like those or these, my mind’s all jumbled

So don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room
Don’t you dare keep me waiting now
No, no matter what you do (oh, wow)
Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

Clamps then scissors
Suture that liver
Stat, nurse, stat
While I wash up you deliver

The joy of anesthesia
Is wearing off too quickly now I fear
Just wait a goddamned s-s-second
Where’s the nurse? (right here)
I think the medication’s wearing off or worse
(What’s that?)
…A hearse?!!!

So don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room
Don’t you dare keep me waiting now
No, no matter what you do (oh, wow)
Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

describe your pain on a level from 1 to 8? (owwwww!!)

Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

if it hurts when you do that, don’t do it

Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

you may feel a slight pinch (hahahahahahaha) Don’t you keep me waiting
In your examination room

Flux

Got to admit
That it was easy
To get over myself
Lemony squeezy
Pucker up-up-up-up-up
And blow those kisses
The medicine goes down
With a couple pinches

Just when you think you’re at capacity
That’s when you draw on your tenacity
Just when you think your whole life sucks
You gotta shift… you gotta flux

You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux
You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux

Just when the tailspin
Bounces back again
That’s when your tailwind
Pulls you down and then
Gut-punching you-you-you-you
When least expected
No less by you yourself and I
All but rejected

Just when you think you’re at capacity
That’s when you draw on your tenacity
Just when you think your whole life sucks
You gotta shift… you gotta flux

You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux
You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux

If you go in expecting nothing
And leave with nothing
You’ll never fool the wolf to stop his huffing
To stop his puffing
He’s gonna blow the whole thing down
And leave you laughing
Won’t that be something?
Won’t that be something?

Now that I think about it
It wasn’t easy
To get over myself
Just left me wheezing
But catch my breath (h-h-h-h}
And blow those kisses
The medicine goes down
With just a couple pinches

Just when you think you’re at capacity
That’s when you draw on your tenacity
Just when you think your whole life sucks
You gotta shift… you gotta flux

You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux
You gotta flux (you gotta gotta gotta)
You gotta flux

Wanda Golconda

She’s dressed in opulence and decadence
She’s eating cake before the meals commence
She hoards and absorbs and pays no consequence
Try as I might, wrong or right, she’s blind to tolerance

I’m just another man cut and pasted in
Bowler hat and suit, no apple core within
Like a QR code, a cancel stamp, a mannequin
Unsmiling unaware of what goes on in him

But my Wanda Golconda
She’s all I really need
My Wanda Golconda
Fulfills my every need
I don’t need much, just her Midas touch
Just to feed my greed
My Wanda Golconda
Means all the world to me

My life’s a videodrome of static digital noise
Oddly uniform and oddly so precise
Like a matrix boxed and squared multiplied and diced
Glitching out of sync but everything is nice

But my Wanda Golconda
She’s all I really need
My Wanda Golconda
Fulfills my every need
I don’t need much, just her Midas touch
Just to feed my greed
My Wanda Golconda
Means all the world to me

Suit and tie, no mouth, no eyes
Apartment complexities
Extrapolate the mundane gestalt
That puckers your extremities

Day after day this rhythm soothes my brain
I’m duplicated, replicated but I can’t complain
This brave new world is something no one can quite name
I am just another man falling down like rain

But my Wanda Golconda
She’s all I really need
My Wanda Golconda
Fulfills my every need
I don’t need much, just her Midas touch
Just to feed my greed
My Wanda Golconda
Means all the world to me

Your Chimera Heart

You’re all askew
Yet you’re so subdued
You leave no clues
You’re every hue
Thoughts scattered, bounced and battered
(About to burst) like black and blue

I’m stultified
By what’s inside you
I stand beside you
I can’t deny you
You’re this and that, where are you at
(You’re like a) punk rock haiku

Your chimera heart
Can’t seem to find my way into
Your ki-ki-ki-chimera heart
Can’t penetrate, can’t make it through
Your chimera heart
Ki-ki-ki- chimera heart
Even the gods cannot impart
(What is what inside) your chimera heart

You’re summer rain under the sun
You’re like the end before begun
I’m tantalized by what’s to come
I lend an ear but you are dumb
What are these trees the forest sees
(what did you do) that can’t be undone?

Your chimera heart
Can’t seem to find my way into
Your ki-ki-ki-chimera heart
Can’t penetrate, can’t make it through
Your chimera heart
Ki-ki-ki- chimera heart
Even the gods cannot impart
(What is what inside) your chimera heart

When your tears slither down
Past your smiling lips
What now
What will your bicameral muscle
Flex to seal my fate
While heaven waits

It could be true
What lovers do
In love and war who
Do dastard things to
But heads or tails wins and fails
(it’s all the same) what devils prove

And angels too

Your chimera heart
Can’t seem to find my way into
Your ki-ki-ki-chimera heart
Can’t penetrate, can’t make it through
Your chimera heart
Ki-ki-ki- chimera heart
Even the gods cannot impart
(What is what inside) your chimera heart

{What’s inside?} Oh, what’s inside?
{What’s inside?} Oh, what’s inside?
{What’s inside?} Oh, what’s inside? Your Ki-ki-ki- chimera heart

Call In The Fixer

Call in the fixer
It’s gotten out of hand
It’s broke and I’ll be damned
If we last much past tomorrow

Call in the fixer
He’s gotta know the score
Knock down this goddamned door
Whatever we must beg and borrow

Call in the fixer
Call in the fixer
(Quicker, quicker, quicker)
Call in the fixer

Call in the fixer
Before it gets much worse
The fixer’s well rehearsed
His briefcase full of special tools

Call in the fixer
Do everything he says
It’s where our roads have led
The destination of every common fool

Call in the fixer
Call in the fixer
(Quicker, quicker, quicker)
Call in the fixer

Don’t ask no questions
Make no suggestions
Don’t intercede or impede
There is no time for hesitation

Call in the fixer
He is our one last hope
It’s him or this dangling rope
Make the call, there’s nothing left to lose

Call in the fixer
Clear out a path for him
Three squares of gauze and gin
Door one, door two, door three, let’s choose

Call in the fixer
Call in the fixer
(Quicker, quicker, quicker)
Call in the fixer